en rastlös sen april

[alphabet meme] and all the rest

2008-07-17T15:34:34Z

[initial post]

clearing the final bit of this meme in a throwaway manner, because otherwise i might just not get around to doing it at all:

erushi asked about Rousseau. i have no strong feelings about Rousseau. before PPE, i hadn't actually read anything he wrote. i still haven't read anything besides The Social Contract, nor do i feel the need to. i disagree with much of what he says, and find him occasionally frustrating in his vagueness, but his ideas are at least interesting. he was one of the topics i didn't bother studying for prelims, because i didn't have the energy to make notes on him after Michaelmas, and just never got around to revising him.

erushi also asked about Discworld. i must confess now that i have yet to read any Discworld book after Thud!. i did not much like Thud!; i found it heavy-handed and inferior to Jingo, and the copy i read was the appallingly typo-filled US edition, which did not help. still, i have read every Discworld novel before that, and will get around to reading those which have been released since; i consider myself a fan; i used to read alt.fan.pratchett (on a proper newsreader, not Google Groups) and alt.book.pratchett, and even spotted Pterry's posts now and then; i still adore Soul Music and Small Gods, among many others.

anappletree asked about xenophobia. i think it is unavoidable*, but that does not make it okay. let me just quote from an email i wrote not very long ago:

Since coming home I have been struck by how, yes, insular and even xenophobic Singaporeans can be... It didn't come as a surprise, exactly, but I suppose I'd forgotten the degree thereof. It's not even an active sort of xenophobia; it's more insidious than that. ...it's not exactly dislike, just the perception of all other races as Other.

i was writing about xenophobia in a particular context, so i should also add now that Singaporeans are also more than capable of very loud, active xenophobia, mainly stemming from economic worries. it is all quite sickening. also, both xenophobia and racism are alive in Singapore, and they should not be conflated.

feliciter asked about fandom. i have a broad definition of fandom; to me, casual discussion of a series doesn't count as participation in fandom, but discussion in a structured arena (such as a messageboard or an ljcomm) and anything upwards does. fandom was a much bigger part of my life around 2000-2005, i think. i'm not sure i'd class myself as currently active in any fandoms, come to that. at one point or another, i have: posted on fandom messageboards; posted on fandom mailing lists; posted in fandom ljcomms; RPed on messageboards; RPed on mailing lists; RPed on lj; written fic; drawn fanart; maintained websites; been part of a scanlation group. i do not do any of these things now, except perhaps writing fic. i don't consider it a huge loss; i enjoyed my time in fandom, but i'm enjoying my time outside it, too. i have made the acquaintance of some very cool people through fandom, for which i am glad.

feliciter also asked about Germany, or German, or Germans. i don't think i have good enough an acquaintance with the country or the language or Germans in particular or aggregate to say anything useful. i liked the bits of Germany which i have seen. there is a certain straightforwardness to my few German friends which i admire. i generally find Germanic languages easier than Romance ones. since the last World Cup i have had a soft spot for the German football team. i like weißbier.

*in the sense that it will likely exist in any society, not in the sense that one cannot help but be xenophobic. i do not agree with the latter sentiment at all.

meme of nothing in particular

2008-07-07T14:53:12Z

tagged by erushi. i have yet to write the trip report for summer, hence the lack of a photopost for now.

1) How has LJ changed your life?
It's allowed me to make the acquaintance of some people and maintain an acquaintance with others. And made possible participation in some fandoms which would otherwise be non-existent, e.g. Mushishi.

2) What do you do before bedtime?
Brush my teeth. *is boring* Often, check my email. Before the brushing of teeth.

3) What are you going to have for dinner tonight?
Have already had dinner. Ate with the family at one of those not-quite-coffeeshop places: porridge with assorted dishes. Not zi char, but I don't know what it's called.

4) What is the city of your dreams and why?
I like Stockholm. It was easy to fall in love with, and yet real. But I still don't think I could live permanently anywhere but Singapore; though I have newly begun doubting if I could live permanently in Singapore, either. More to the point, I'm not sure if I have a 'city of my dreams'. Real cities are better, anyway. No offence meant to Calvino.

5) Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Introvert, most definitely.

6) What do you do in your free time?
Listen to music. Sometimes, if I'm feeling ambitious, attempt to clear backlog of music-to-listen-to. Refresh lj friendslist. Sit around, offline, doing nothing in particular. For larger spans of free time: meet up with friends. Go for a walk. Watch non-blockbuster-y movies.

7) Do you trust easily?
I trust people in general, and have an unfounded belief in the essentially decent nature of humans, but I don't usually trust in the competence of others. I do tend to question the motives of others, but not so much in a they're-out-to-get-me sense as in a they're-just-doing-that-to-be-nice sense.

8) What personal belonging do you have with you everywhere you go?
Digital-analog watch.

9) Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Yes. (That was an easy question.) But there has also been a lot that has made me happy.

10) What is your best quality?
Not being obnoxious?

11) Is being tagged fun?
It's one solution to the lack of entires.

12) How do you see yourself?
I try not to, it takes too much effort.

13) Who are currently the most important people to you?
Myself. Family. Some friends.

14) What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Elsie is scarily motivated and ambitious and will likely be a proper Career-Type Person in the future.

15) Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single and rich. I'd probably even prefer being single and poor to being married and poor.

16) How may children do you want to have, if any?
None. Ever.

17) Which is better: to give or to receive?
Giving is probably 'better'. If you mean which I prefer, then I can't say. I am not good at giving, but I am not very good at receiving, either, because of guilt issues.

18) If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Neither.

19) Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for $10 000 000?
I don't find the notion of sex (with anyone, let alone a stranger) at all attractive, but that's a lot of money. It would probably depend on what my financial situation was. But I would consider it, at least, assuming no strings attached and the absence of other significant factors.

20) What were your parents going to name you if you'd been born the opposite gender?
I don't know.

[photopost] cloudy skies in spring

2008-07-03T17:54:25Z

Sakura and daffodils in Regent's Park, London.

---

Paris

Montmartre. The windmill gives it away.

The plaque is the only sign that Robespierre once lived here.

Emerging onto Place de la Concorde.

Musée d'Orsay.

Part of l'Axe historique: the Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel, through which can be seen the Obelisk on Place de la Concorde, and then, in the distance, the Arc de Triomphe.

---

Berlin

(My photos from the spring trip to Berlin are not particularly pretty, nor were they meant to be. The summer ones are more so.)

The Berlin Wall memorial: a reconstruction of the death-strip, next to part of the original wall.


The Soviet War Memorial, with Brandenburg Gate in the background.

Probably my favourite shot from Berlin. The red speech-bubble-esque thing was part of a tourism campaign, I believe.

---

Växjö

The B&B in which I stayed, and my room there.


Snow on Linnéparken. Yes, that is a bust of Carl Linnaeus.

And no -- apart from resizing them, I didn't alter these photos at all.


---

Malmö

I took several shots of the old town, but I am too lazy to upload the others.


Snowed-on daffodils!

Outside the museum complex, housed in a castle (complete with moat).

---

And in closing: Brasenose College, after snowfall.

[photopost] what i did during my ____ vacation

2008-07-02T12:07:05Z

I used an analog camera for most of this school year, but the film-developing place provides a convert-to-digital-format service. So here's the first of three travel-photo posts, crossposted from my life-in-uni lj.

Copenhagen

Note the lovely warm light on the right, falling on the red-brick building.

Santa sets off the Yule Tree pyrotechnics!

Rådhuspladsen. You can see the neon thermometer on the building on the left in the first picture.

---

Lund

The hostel at which I stayed, known for obvious reasons as The Train. The burnished wood interior made me think of Baccano!, I won't deny it.


View from the top bunk. The blue splotch on the bottom right is probably my jean-clad leg.

---

Stockholm

Drottningholm.


Köpmantorget in Gamla Stan.

Kungsträdgården. Note the green NK sign between the tree and the streetlamps!

Gamla Stan, and my two travel companions.

The Yule market in Gamla Stan.

Gamla Stan from... somewhere else.

Yes, Gamla Stan. Observe the lovely golden light.

That red boat is where I stayed after my travel companions left.


Inside my cabin on the red boat.

Kungsträdgården Yule market.

Kungsträdgården, from Gamla Stan.

---

Göteborg

It has trams.

[alphabet meme] a bunch of brief ones

2008-06-30T16:20:15Z

[initial post]

getting the simpler topics out of the way:

agitpunkt asked about hedgehogs. i think they are cute. i have yet to see one in the flesh, despite having been in the UK for most of the past nine months. most of what i know about them i learnt from enid blyton, e.g. they like milk and dog biscuits dipped in milk. apparently. i cannot help but associate them with that discworld song.

as for the eroteme, i quite like it as a punctuation mark, but it's not particularly exciting. i don't think anyone writing today (except old-fashioned linguists, maybe) calls it that instead of simply the question mark.

anappletree asked about moustaches. i have no strong feelings about moustaches. they denote villains, i suppose. i find very slight goatees or cleanshaven-ness more aesthetically pleasing. there is one exception to my lukewarm attitude towards moustaches, which is my deep and undying love for this blog.

zoos -- i haven't been to many. i think they play an important role, not just in terms of education and other front-end functions, but also in conservation and the like. but this is far from being my area of expertise, so.

one of those posts

2008-06-15T21:03:14Z

exams tomorrow and tuesday, travelling after that. won't be checking lj between tuesday morning and getting into singapore, the latter being scheduled for the 28th. will finish that alphabet meme in july.

but oh, it's been a long nine months. i look forward to returning in september, yes, but i'm also glad to be going home.

status update

2008-06-13T15:29:08Z

Lunch went fine, but Radcliffe Square is quite the scene of carnage, at least from what I can glimpse from the lodge. I think a few zombies slipped into Lincoln as well -- either that or there was some very enthusiastic trashing going on in the back quad/garden place which I can see from my room. Hope they didn't make it over the gate and into Carpark; no one here seems to have been turned yet, anyway. There were still croquet games going on in the lawn when I went for my revision class, though I think some of the mallets have been used as impromptu weapons.

Didn't sign up for formal hall tonight, which means I either leave the college or stay hungry. Decisions, decisions. I reckon the kebab vans will probably be taken down quickly by the ravening hordes, so that's out. Maybe I'll try Balliol, though I'm not sure any colleges are keeping their gates open at the point.

I heard most of Teddy Hall's been ravaged -- that's what comes of having a graveyard inside your college, I guess. Some of the Assassins players there got a chance to use their in-game skills in real life, but there's a huge difference between stabbing someone with a pen labelled "knife" and whacking a zombie into submission with a fire axe.

On the bright (?) side, some people who'd been punting earlier today say that they spotted Tolkien and Isaiah Berlin up north, quite some way past The Victoria Arms.

sflakfa;ga

2008-06-13T11:37:54Z

I usually reserve this sort of post for my life-in-uni lj, but. Uh. So apparently Friday the 13th is unlucky after all. Bloody hell. I just went to the SSL this morning, like a good studying-for-exams person, and when I was at the zebra-crossing a bunch of zombies shambled out of Holywell Cemetery.

faf;sga; it was like something out of Shaun of the Dead, or perhaps that's because that's the only zombie movie I've seen. At first I thought they were finalists who'd just gotten trashed or something, because there's certainly been lots of those shambling around lately. But no, it was definitely bits of decomposing flesh and not confetti, and I'm pretty sure they weren't in subfusc, either. And since they were on the other side of the zebra-crossing I couldn't very well do anything. Thankfully these were slow zombies, not the super-speedy kind, and to be fair some of them looked quite amiable (I hear Kenneth Grahame is supposed to have been buried there, but I don't know what he looks like). I ran back up Longwall and down Holywell -- but then I remembered that the uni church on Radcliffe Square has tombstones, bloody hell. When I got to the lodge there was a huge crowd, and I thought I was too late -- but they were just tourists, so I got past and back into my room. I think they've shut the main gate now, but for once I regret that Brasenose doesn't have code-locks.

Still going down for hall in a bit, though. Assuming no one within the college has fallen prey yet.

[alphabet meme] a bit of food

2008-06-07T10:48:22Z

[initial post]

anappletree asked about jelly. Mm, jelly. I'm fond enough of this in its various forms, I suppose. Coffee jelly is nice. Konnyaku jelly is lovely, especially with fruits in. In hall the other day there was this rather curious 'forest fruits cheesecake' dessert, which was a slab of jelly with berries embedded in it, atop a very soft cheesecake-mousse-thing, atop a lightly spiced biscuit crumb base. At work last year I would occasionally buy a slice of agar-agar for a snack. It is cool and refreshing. I quite like trifle, though I don't go out of my way to eat it. Jelly is a decent dessert, but given a choice between it and its cousin, pudding, the latter will almost always win.

agitpunkt asked about cabbage. I don't have much to say about cabbage. I think it tastes nice enough: mildly sweet. I like cabbage soup, unlike Charlie Bucket. I haven't had cabbage that often in recent months, because it's a relatively rare vegetable in hall, here. I don't think I've had the chance to try bubble and squeak yet, which is curious because I've pretty much tried every other stereotypically British food. But I have had colcannon, which is similar.

This also reminds me of a joke that came up during one of the Humour Seminar sessions convened by G A Cohen this term. It's a joke that loses pretty much everything in text, but:

Q: What's green and invisible?
A: *holding hand out, palm up* This cabbage.

...well, I found it funny.

[alphabet meme] :D

2008-06-06T11:56:32Z

[initial post]

lesstraveled asked about wine. To be honest, I don't know much about wine at all; if you rattled off a series of famous varieties I probably couldn't even say if they were red or white. Neither do I know anything about the technical terms, or what tannin is supposed to taste like, &c. And as with many subjects on which I am ignorant, I can't really be bothered to educate myself, not least because I seldom if ever buy wine.

I like talking about wine the way I like talking about most alcoholic beverages: in terms of how friendly it is. The problem is that if reds are friendly they tend, alas, to be weak, and I'd rather take a harsh red than a friendlier but unremarkable one. I am not a huge fan of the drier reds, but I'd take a dry red over a dry white. Sweet wines don't do much for me, so I'm not a huge fan of the sweeter whites, either -- and yet I adore port. I think I tried rosé for the first time earlier this year, but can't remember anything about it. I have never tried a Riesling, or an icewine. I did recently try some Sauternes (one of those noble rot wines), and while it was pleasant I'm not convinced it was worth the price tag.

There is often free cheap wine at talks and stuff here, which is convenient.

Given a choice, and ignoring the monetary aspect, I will choose wine over beer but probably not over spirits, though that does depend on what spirits are available.

---

As for summer, ah -- I'm glad to have the chance to experience summer in a temperate country, as opposed to the all-year-round swelter in Singapore. My mood has always been easily swayed by the weather, and the glorious blue-skied breezy summer days which we occasionally enjoy make me ridiculously happy. It means so much more coming after the grey dreariness of winter and spring rain, too, and it certainly helps that the air is rarely humid; certainly never as humid as it is in Singapore. The long hours of daylight are lovely, too -- I hated the early sunsets of winter.

And then there are the things one associates with the season: the summer flowers, brighter than those one saw in spring; the leaves once more on the trees (oh, how I have missed those shades of green); the sudden profusion of ice-cream vans (ICE-CREAM VANS :D :D :D); the possibility of picnics; being able to laze around on the quads, with the "Please keep off the grass signs" no longer in force; punting, that very traditional but no less enjoyable cliché. Also, kuzumochi, which is probably my favourite wagashi ever. And natsu matsuri! Which, to be honest, I largely liked because of the food, but the dancing is fun to watch even though I don't join in. I still want to go for a proper natsu matsuri in Japan, someday.

Of course there are drawbacks: the rain comes around every now and again to remind you that you are, after all, in the UK, and one gets proper downpours; insects and the like come out from hiding; sometimes the heat really is too distracting. I imagine that if I were staying here over July and August I would be less sanguine about it all.

[alphabet meme] assassins, omu rice, and takoyaki

2008-06-02T17:06:59Z

[initial post]

getting the simpler topics out of the way first: erushi asked about assassins.

I'm not sure what exactly was meant (sorry, erushi! feel free to clarify in comments) so I am being self-serving and assuming that the term referred to the game of Assassins. Because I like having an excuse to go on about it.

I don't recall when I first found out about Assassins, but two things are certain: 1) I knew about it before going to uni, and 2) I wanted to play, but was leery of the commitment involved. Luckily for me, Assassins as played where I am is a very low-commitment affair, quite unlike how it's played at The Other Place. The games run for a week each, and I've played in all six games this school year (though I think there's another one coming up in the week just before my exams, so I plan to sit that one out).

Each game is as engrossing and life-eating as you want to make it: I once lurked in wait outside a target's room for the better part of an hour only to give up and shoot my accomplice for a consolation kill, but I also tend to go a day or two sans Assassins activity during each game. And there are often Epic Tales to be told or regaled by -- half the fun is hearing about what others have been doing. Scythes in dark alleys! Doorway shoot-outs ended by a ricin-tipped umbrella! Poisoned cookies proffered under an assumed identity! Without Assassins, my uni life would be somewhat less colourful. Even writing the Assassins reports is fun, not just as an escape from reading or essays, but as a means of indulging my fondness for intentionally overdramatic comic writing (largely unindulged otherwise due to being bad at it) and doggerel filks of famous poems. Besides, all the stake-outs, sneaking around, and dramatic chase sequences appeal to the twelve-year-old in me.

Through Assassins, I've made several friends, visited far more colleges than I'd otherwise have reason to do, and generally had lots of good fun. :D I also intend to run for a Guild committee position next year, eheh. Becoming an active Assassin is one of the better decisions I've made in uni.

---

And now, food! :D Omu rice is one of my favourite meals, and a general comfort food. It's nothing spectacular, in culinary terms, but its simplicity is precisely why I like it, and besides, I've long had a weakness for omelettes. I prefer hayashi omu rice to omu rice that just has ketchup over it, since the rice itself is already tomato-flavoured. Despite my love for it I doubt I shall ever learn how to cook it, because I lack motor skillz and am afeared of open flames. *fails*

Takoyaki, for that matter, is one of my favourite stall-snacks, the sort you buy and eat while wandering around a shopping complex. Warm, easy to eat, and neither insubstantial nor too filling. Also incredibly tasty. For quite a while I only ate the ham-and-cheese variation, but I'm glad to say that I am now able to appreciate the proper tako-including type. (I shall probably never bother with the prawn variety, though.) I like how the saltiness of the bonito flakes combines with the sweet mayo and takoyaki sauce, too.

If not for the kindness and skill of erushi, I wouldn't have had omu rice and takoyaki since last September. ;_; When I get back to Singapore at the end of June I am going to eat so much food, seriously.

memeity meme meme meme

2008-06-01T12:15:48Z

experience suggests that this will meet with lukewarm response, if any at all, but i am still optimistic! my exams loom and i need distraction, so if you so please, a meme:

1. It begins with a list of all 26 letters of the alphabet.
2. Comment with something for me to talk about that starts with one of those letters. Make me babble about anything. Fandom or non-fandom, whatever works.
3. One topic per letter -- it's like a claims list! I will cross off letters as topics appear. If you'd like to make more than one request (for different letters), go for it. Just don't steal all the letters. For trickier letters like X or Z, feel free to suggest topics in Mandarin. Or... or something.
4. I will post ~~a new post~~ several new posts, depending on response, talking about howeversomany topics I get given to me.

A B ~~C D E F G H~~ I J K L M N O P Q ~~R S T~~ U V ~~W X~~ Y Z

meh.

2008-05-26T21:06:34Z

because i still have two pieces of fic to write for that alphabet fic meme which i'd planned to complete by, oh, the end of last year. -_-;; when i eventually get around to writing those two, they may be the last pieces of fic i shall ever write! /o/ \o\ /o/ barring fic gifts and obligations and things like yuletide.

stolen from feliciter:
1. Pick character(s), pairing(s), and/or a fandom.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on shuffle.
3. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked, inspired by the song. You have only the time frame of the song. No skipping songs: you have to take what comes by chance (exceptions made for instrumentals, unless the title takes your fancy.)
4. Do 5 of these, then post.

also with selected mp3 uploads! get the songs, they're better than the fic.

Last Days of April - Me The Plague (3:06)

Utgard Loki's presence is more annoying than that of a mere shadow: shadows are insubstantial, fleeting things, flickering in and out of existence with the light. Perhaps more importantly, shadows do not insinuate themselves into your household, bully your sons, and eat that last slice of shortcake that you were saving for a special day.

Weiss - Wallpaper For Soul (3:23)

"Wasn't that one fight enough?" Loki demands, backing up and against a vintage standing-lamp. The heavy brass lamp wobbles; he briefly contemplates snatching that up instead, but isn't sure he'd be able to wield it.

Utgard Loki grins, and the genuine amusement in that expression -- unnervingly, infuriatingly familiar -- catches Loki off guard long enough for his doppelgänger to close the distance, enchanted spatula (spatula, Loki thinks; how far we have fallen) suddenly readied against Loki's throat.

Tori Amos - Siren (4:01) // Enya - Boadicea (3:31)

"You're thinking about her again," Utgard Loki says, not quite accusatory. Of course he would know. You recognise your expressions on his face often enough; there is no reason he cannot do the same.

It isn't fair to her, you know. // The longer you spend away, the easier it is for memory to grow abstract, rarefied, too pure for truth. Remembrance comes in the angry hum of Utgard Loki's pulse under your fingers, where you hear it: the beat of war-drums, of steady oar-strokes on a raging sea, drawing ever closer.

FAKE? - Praise (5:15)

In the world of the gods, the only alternative to vicious circularity is an inevitable end. Loki's not sure which route he would prefer. This settlement is temporary, as everything in the mortal world is, but now that time is measured differently he finds it easy to slip into the trap of too-brief routine. He doesn't need Utgard Loki, the same way he doesn't technically need anyone; but somehow his double, too, has found a place in his routine.

the extent to which this swiftly degenerated into cliché is embarrassing. when pressed for time, recycle sentiments! i shall probably scrap that entire last bit, for instance. also i feel like i am pretty much ripping off that one xsmoonshine fic which ate my fannish loki/utgard-loki soul and never gave it back, for which i apologise.

---

Kyo - Sur nos lèvres (4:05)

He licks his lips, swallows against the sharp autumn air. It's not about death -- the leaves rot underfoot instead of crumbling to dust, and the earth is merely folding itself into sleep, its pulse slowing but steady. At the most, reminder comes in the form of blood on his tongue when his lips crack from the cold.

Koyasu Takehito - White Kiss (4:49)

Snow, now: falling like a blanket, like the passing days which in turn disappear like breathed-upon snowflakes -- Ginko's not the poetic sort but he can summon up the metaphors if he wants to. Not that he does. He could say, winter like a farewell, or winter as an ending, but that too would be inaccurate, and his discipline is not one that prizes inaccuracy. A mushishi has obligations to the future: his pen-ink sketches are observations, not works of art. And while the stories of a travelling bard require resolution, for the tales of a mushishi the mere solution is enough.

the pillows - Nowhere (5:06)

The thing is, it's easy to move from solemnity born of silence to easy-going indifference. When you are a blank slate it is easier to pick up the requisite skills, traits, attitude: everything is a learning experience. And over the years the pattern is the same, even if one picks up obligations along with acquaintances; at the heart of it all there is no place one returns to, no compass-pull towards a beginning or an eventual end. He wouldn't call it freedom, exactly -- there is a difference between freedom from and freedom to* -- but perhaps this is how he'd explain it if you asked: when you have nowhere in mind, you can go anywhere at all.

The Magnetic Fields - Washington, DC (1:53)

Oh, he's seen beauty in a thousand forms: endless glimmering fields, mountains untouchable and perfect in their veils of mist, mushi flickering over the surface of a treacherous sea. But the places which he chooses to return to are not chosen for that.

Girls Aloud - Here We Go (3:44) (you have no idea how i died inside when this song came up)

Death is one thing -- if the mushi don't get him, nature could still do the job without their aid -- but there are more insidious dangers to the job. Ginko's faced his fair share: hostile pitchfork-wielding crowds, misdirection from wary strangers, the unwanted affections of village girls.

this meme is so embarrassing, somehow! posting unpolished work always is.

*yeah, this is totally a reference to political theory in general and that one isaiah berlin piece in particular. sorry.

no, still not posting anything of consequence.

2008-05-19T19:22:10Z

it is all i can do to come up with my own topics for philosophy essays, or filk famous poems (edgar allen poe, reasonable; eliot, strangely difficult) for Assassins reports; i'm hardly in a position to come up with original content for this lj. so instead:

Comment with a situation, place, fandom, or character, and I'll upload a song which I think appropriate.

avoiding homework! ahahahaha.

2008-04-19T15:37:19Z

meme: Comment to this post with a subject for a top five (ships, songs, books, etc). I will reply with my answer.

fandom or non-fandom, whatever works.

constrained optimization hurts my head

2008-04-14T13:30:52Z

View Poll: neutrality is not an option

say that i was foolish/say that i was blind/never say that i got left behind

2008-04-12T09:16:19Z

Oysterband - We Could Leave Right Now
a rather straightforward folk rock song, i suppose, but there's something compelling about it. the insistent, almost grim hum of the strings, perhaps. we can forget our names/forget each other's faces/don't be afraid/don't be afraid

Oysterband - Bells of Rhymney
a cover of a folk rock song which originated from a ballad about the hardship of miners. ...it's a good song, okay. :\\\ the little guitar melody is strangely catchy.

Oysterband - Granite Years
and if you didn't download this the last time around, here's your chance. this is the song which got me interested in the band -- youth and not-sepia nostalgia.

becoming a regular at the local crêperie

2008-04-10T14:52:18Z

edit: and by 'salty' i mean, of course, 'savoury'. -_-;;

View Poll: guess what i've been eating

jaffa cakes, alas, are not biscuits.

2008-04-04T15:24:25Z

in sainsbury's the other day i noticed a sign apologising for a fig roll shortage across the industry.

View Poll: a nice cup of tea and...

[meme] things i do not blog about, 3/3

2008-04-03T20:04:58Z

[initial post]

this post's title notwithstanding, feel free to suggest more topics. i'm not likely to post any proper unprompted content in the near future, after all.

from feliciter: what would make me stop listening to Kent

It's an intriguing question, and one I don't think I've ever asked myself, since Kent is the Band Of My Life right now and I can't see that changing. I mean, I flew to Sweden to see them. Twice. And caught three concerts within four days, the second time around. So the indefinite endurance of my fannish love for Kent is something I've taken for granted; it's not the same as being in a fandom in the usual sense, or even following a certain series.

So it'd take quite a lot to make me stop listening to Kent. For a start, I'm comfortable enough with separating the creators and the creation. While I admit that some of my fondness for Kent comes from the nature of the band itself (childhood friends!) and from the qualities of the individual members, I fell in love with the music first, and that's where my attachment to them is rooted. So it is unlikely that any one incident -- Jocke making some sort of thoughtless remark or the revelation of some past scandal, say -- would turn me off the music.

I suppose it is conceivable that if the band suddenly adopted and sustained an unpleasant philosophy, then I might begin to feel uncomfortable listening to them. Particularly if such things started seeping into the music: if they started writing songs that glorified war, say. o_o;;

And then there is the music itself. If their music style changed enough, then it's possible that I'd give up on them. If they started releasing 17-minute-long epics full of distortion and screaming and chainsaws, say, or if they produced nothing but insipid pop. But as before, it'd have to be a significant and sustained change. Just as it's unlikely that any one single event would suffice to make me stop listening to them, it would take more than a few songs or even an entire album. I'd probably give it time and several albums, see if things changed. And even if they didn't, and I decided to stop following them fannishly, it's likely that I'd still keep an eye out for reviews of further releases, in the vain hope that they might return to their old sound or sanity.

Which brings me to this important point: no matter where Kent goes in the future, whether musically or as public figures, their back catalogue will remain unstained, and if nothing else I will still listen to that. I honestly can't think of anything that might make me acquire a dislike for the Kent songs I currently love.

So in summary: while it's possible that the adoption of reprehensible enough a philosophy or unpalatable enough a music style could turn me off from the band, there probably isn't anything that could make me stop listening to what Kent has released so far. Besides, you know, a gun to the head or something.

and on that note, here's my favourite song from their latest album:

Kent - Våga vara rädd
upbeat, catchy, and just generally fun. <3 it even has happy trumpets!

[meme] things i do not blog about, 2/3

2008-04-02T13:03:54Z

[initial post]

from aut2003: my ideal guy
(a phrase i would never have expected to appear on this lj, or indeed in anything i would ever write)

Note the given prompt. This is not about the sort of guy I'd be happy or even content with in a relationship, but rather my ~*~ideal~*~ guy, with all the wishful thinking and wholly unrealistic expectations that that implies.

Temperament is key, so let's start there. Laundry-list of attributes:
- Dry sense of humour, quick but not overly cruel wit.
- Relative lack of neuroses/hang-ups/Issues, but not so much that he is a robot. The ability to not take himself seriously, but with some degree of self-awareness as well.
- Introverted nature, but to a lesser degree than me. Someone has to initiate conversation, after all. And when I say 'introverted', I don't mean 'shy but enjoys company', I mean 'is perfectly happy being by themselves, needs to recharge after social events, and so on'. The first definition of introversion is one I personally reject, but I see it being used so much..! Anyway. Yes. He'll have to be socially competent, because one of us has to be.
- Related to the above: independence and lack of clinginess. I suppose he'd have to want me, at least a little, but I don't want to be needed.
- To use the laughably reductive vocabulary of the MBTI, he'll have to be a T, not an F.
- Some measure of kindness/empathy/generosity/not being a completely selfish cold-hearted bastard. But at the same time, no martyrs pls.
- Honesty and frankness, but with tact.
- General laid-back attitude to things, but not to the extent of apathy. He'll have to be interested in the world around him, and in societal issues.
- No chauvinism pls. And no old-fashioned chivalry, either. If he holds open doors it will be out of politeness and nothing more, and there will be no question of him paying for meals.
- Related to the above: a generally enlightened view on things.

And then we segue into opinions and preferences. Ideally he would be an atheist of the non-rabid variety, and hold fairly liberal political views. I wouldn't want us to agree on everything, though -- some intelligent, reasoned debate is required, for which he will also require intelligence and the ability to discuss things in a logical but not completely detached manner. Non-robot-ness is important. Preferences-wise, it would help if he had interesting tastes that overlapped just slightly with mine but included a variety of other stuff, in everything from food to music to anime/manga. Because, yes, my ideal guy would be an anime/manga fan. Sorry.

Finally, the shallow stuff. He'd have to be relatively attractive and in average physical shape, but not incredibly gorgeous or super athletic or anything. Nice warm hands with elegant fingers. A pleasant voice, and a pleasant laugh, and a smile that makes one's heart doki-doki -- but that must apply to the sort of smile which he smiles when he doesn't realise anyone is watching. He will not believe in silly money-wasting 'romantic gestures', but he will be unexpectedly sentimental and capable of some degree of emotion. (But not over-emotional, thanks.) He should be a cat person, and enjoy taking walks outdoors. He should not mind my refusal to wear make-up and skirts, etc. He should also lack a sex drive (ahaha, talk about unrealistic), but be fond enough of relatively chaste physical affection. He should be able to cook, and cook well. :D

In short, my ideal guy would probably be a male, better-adjusted, reasonably attractive, non-robotic, and overall improved version of myself, with added bonuses. Ahahaha um. -_-;; The self-love is strong with this one.

[meme] things i do not blog about, 1/?

2008-03-31T20:54:18Z

[initial post]

it is indeed the case that i rarely blog about Issues, political or social or otherwise, and while there are some issues on which i have definite opinions, i'm far from being the sort of person who has an opinion on everything. this was therefore an interesting exercise. is it worse to be ignorant of the facts yet have an opinion, or know the facts yet be apathetic? i think i tend more to the former.

from wao: what I think about what parents of child prodigies should do

Parenting is not something I can ever see myself doing, and I certainly wasn't a child prodigy, so I have no personal stake in this issue either way. Neither am I sure that I have any right to judge what others 'should' do, particularly due to my lack of knowledge about child psychology and development and so on. That having been said -- I think the same general principles apply to being a parent of a child prodigy and just being a parent. There has to be a balance between doing what one thinks is best for the child regardless of the child's wishes (the term is 'paternalism', after all) and basically not making the child's life hell.

While there definitely is some sort of obligation for the parents to ensure that their child's gifts are nurtured such that the child comes as close as possible to fulfilling his/her full potential (oh man, I hate this sort of language), there is perhaps an even stronger obligation for the parents to ensure that their child has a happy childhood. In general I think the child's wishes must take precedence, within reason. A little pushing might help in some cases, perhaps, but ultimately I think prodigies need to be nurtured, not led -- the parents' role being a support one, not a guiding one. So give the kid free rein, encourage them to push themselves as far as they feel comfortable. Let them realise their own dreams, and don't make them realise the dreams of their doting parents.

But the 'within reason' clause should still stand. If the child is a genius at mathematics and wants to skip several levels in school, let them -- unless there are strong reasons for suspecting that this will be worse in the long run, perhaps on the social front. If the child wants to spend all their time composing symphonies and not going to school, then one has to consider the importance of current education for the child's future. If the parents have to take an active role, let it be one of holding back rather than pushing forward.

I think especial care should be taken with prodigies of the artistic sort, as opposed to prodigies in science or language or any of the more academic disciplines. Artistic talent often comes with great psychological and emotional burdens attached, I think, and to push an artistically talented child too much could make them burn out and ruin them for life, while holding them back too tightly might make them lose their spark.

Parents should also remember that no matter how talented or intelligent their children, kids are kids, not mini adults. Their emotional and psychological development shouldn't be neglected.

what I think of the calls to boycott the Olympics.

I confess to not knowing as much about politics as I should, firstly as a citizen ('global citizen'? Augh, all these cliches) and secondly as a student of politics. I also have mixed feelings about China. I did go through a brief phase, in my early teens, of wanting China to succeed, and feeling almost a sense of pride by association. I am far, far away from feeling anything like that right now. But at the same time I cannot bring myself to feel the sort of righteous hostility towards China that others may feel. Then again, perhaps this is because I cannot bring myself to feel hostility in general.

At any rate, I think the calls to boycott are well-founded. I think the Chinese government has done and is doing reprehensible things. But I also think that an actual boycott should not (and probably will not) happen.

Perhaps I am biased by my experiences. I visited Beijing in 2001, just before the winning bid was due to be announced. On one hand, there was the destruction of historical and cultural heritage -- I recall most clearly the spraypainted '拆' signs on hutongs -- yet on the other there was so much hope and optimism amongst the Chinese I spoke to there, the feeling that the Olympics was Beijing's chance; for glory and economic gain, yes, but also for progress and even reform. And I am optimistic -- too optimistic, arguably -- about China. I want to believe that China will be a decent player in world politics, that she will eventually pursue reform in areas other than that of economics, even if she does so for purely pragmatic reasons.

Besides, I tend to doubt the effectiveness of boycotts or sanctions or similar moves, in general. I don't think negative reinforcement works as well as positive reinforcement, and yes, I know the argument that if you give an inch to some countries they will take a mile (or 得寸进尺, as it were) but still I think that negative reinforcement is likely to backfire. Particularly with countries where the idea of 'face' is paramount, and where humiliation is likely to breed resentment rather than compliance. You're handing over ammunition to existing detractors, too. I believe that a failed Olympics -- an Olympics ruined by the 'Western world', as it would no doubt be framed -- would be worse for the state of reform in China in the long run, than if the rest of the world allowed Beijing to try and pull off a successful Olympics, complicit in the government's crimes.

And then again... then again I think the calls for boycott are a good thing, even if an actual boycott would not be. The calls for boycott and the accompanying bad press put pressure on the government, and even if a boycott never materialises (and I doubt one will) the message has been sent. A message without much bite, you could argue, but once again, the cultural sensitivity to 'preserving one's face' means that the message is likely to have some impact nonetheless. An actual boycott would harm the people, and not necessarily improve the lot of those already suffering. The calls for boycott may perhaps achieve, even if to a far far lesser degree, some of the intended aims of an actual boycott without all of the pain accompanying it.

not the most exciting of returns

2008-03-30T00:32:10Z

back! terribly belated congrats and good luck to the one-year-younger people (i feel so horrendously obsolete now), wherever you may be going or choosing to go. :D

and because my posts have been even more content-free than usual this year, a meme which may counter the trend, at least for a while:

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post or comment about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on yaoi, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc.

i promise replies of reasonable length, a relative lack of evasiveness, and proper capitalisation.

happiness is

2008-03-03T01:00:15Z

i haven't been very good at being... well, at being, lately. probably won't post again until april (and won't be commenting from friday onwards), so: have a lovely spring, for those of you who do have spring, and all the best to the now-j3s who are waiting on results of various kinds, and all the best to everyone, really, whatever you are doing now and wherever you are or are going.

on that cheerful (?) note, a meme from wao, because i like this sort of thing.

Comment and I'll give you a letter (if you want); then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal (if you want) and give out some letters of your own.

1. Joseph Brodsky's poetry -- Brodsky is my Kent of poetry, by which i mean that he is the one poet whose work resonates with me, even if i cannot provide an objective defence or explanation of this. i posted some of his poems in fic posts, last year; here is a site with more of his work.

2. June -- a month i associate with holidays, and sunshine, and relaxation. especially holidays, eheh. the Junes of 2005 and 2006 were particularly important to me, for reasons not limited to the overseas trips embarked upon.

3. Jocke & co. -- which is a cheater's way of saying Kent. sorry, it had to be done.

4. JC nostalgia -- nostalgia of all sorts, really. but yes: while the JC years were not all sunshine and roses, they were good years, and i have many important memories from them.

5. the benign variant of jamais vu -- old things seeming new and fresh and bright and full of promise, all over again. realising, perhaps on a particularly sunny blue-skied day, where i am now, literally and metaphorically. rediscovering old songs, or books, or things which made me smile once and perhaps still do. (jamais vu in the usual sense, however, scares me. i like retaining my memories, thankyou.)

6. the Jurassic Park themes -- i'm fonder of soundtracks that rely more on piano and less on sweeping orchestral pieces (yann tiersen's work, for a start) but the Jurassic Park themes will always have a place in my heart. i adored the book and movie, i adored the soundtrack, and the opening theme also reminds me of RGS, because the school band used to play it when welcoming guests of honour. *laughs*

downloads: Jurassic Park (Welcome To) | Jurassic Park Theme

7. jangly guitars -- so lovely and upbeat. there's that link with The Smiths, too, since the phrase tends to crop up in descriptions of their sound.

8. Japanese food -- ahahaha, i could go on forever. sushi! wagashi! teriyaki anything! katsu curry! pocky! omu rice! and so on, and so on.

9. particularly striking juxtapositions -- especially if irony is involved somewhere.

10. January and other beginnings -- i am ambivalent about change, but there is something hopeful about beginnings, all the same.

and again

2008-02-10T10:02:16Z

because I uploaded these for a friend -- some songs by Saybia, a Danish band which sings in English. to my untutored ears they sound very, very much like Keane. that should be a sufficient intro.

Still Falling
In Spite Of
The Day After Tomorrow
The Second You Sleep (live)